Metamorphosis or fantasy selves?

Does anyone every really know who they are? When are our fantasy selves considered fantasy and when do they become a reality? 

Growing up, I had lots of fantasy selves. One of my favorites was that I was a time traveler (super fantasy self). I had a packed bag in my room just in case for this very reason and it was always a huge debate as to whether my favorite blanket was to go in it. Yet another one was that I could do all the things I couldn't - dance ballet, ice skate, swim like a mermaid and travel on my own. Still another one was that I was smart, well read and could answer any question asked of me. How was I going to do that when all I read was fiction? In high school, I wanted to continue being the tomboy-girl-geek hybrid I was in elementary school - when I juggled dance, spent all my free time in the library and played rough and tumble with the boys. Instead I was in all-girls school thinking of ways to skip classes and the only boys I saw were my cousins at weekends who were too old to be my playmates as they used to be. 

For a very long time, my room was a junkyard of all my imaginings with the only halfway sane place being my book shelves. I had all kinds of collections that I didn't actually have time for. In college, I thought I'd have less time for my fantasy selves but in truth, all the organizations I was in were all the personas I imagined myself to be. Environmentalist, supporter of political causes, citizen of the world, stage actress, I wanted them all. I studied a major that let me study different disciplines at the same time and was not satisfied with being an apprentice/trainee at one place. I had to have two.

Fast forward. Moving to Tanzania cured me of my extra identities for a while. With only 15kg of luggage to bring to a new continent, I could only bring so much. Everything had to be inspected and weighed, literally and figuratively, to be judged whether they fit with my life. Besides, I needed to get myself back. Getting over a breakup was especially hard for me back then and I didn't know who I was or who I wanted to be. I tried to be no one and someone at the same time. 

Gradually, I accumulated stuff again. Gradually, I started wanting to do all sorts of things. Some old fantasy selves resurfaced and some new ones reared their heads. I wanted a djembe or a cajon, a link from my old life to the new, but also a new fantasy self I'd created. One who was cool and out of the box. I had my fancy parties and local pubs. I flew to places I'd only dreamed about when I was younger. 

These days? I have a designated space for different parts of my life. My work stuff, my workout clothes and paraphernalia, traveling gear, even a small book collection. Most people think I've got it together, but I've started to think that that's my new make-believe role. I have layers upon layers of me to discover and sort out. 

I remember a line somewhere that goes - "We don't change. We only become more of who we truly are." And thus, perhaps is the life we have to live. An endless discovery of oneself or all our selves.